Mount Safa & Marwa

[2:158] Surely the Safa and the Marwa are among the signs appointed by Allah; so whoever makes a pilgrimage to the House or pays a visit (to it), there is no blame on him if he goes round them both; and whoever does good spontaneously, then surely Allah is Grateful, Knowing.

After finishing with the tawaf and drinking some Zam-Zam water we went to Mount Safa and Marwa. Muslims who perform the Hajj or Umra must walk/run between the two hills, starting from Mount Safa and ending with Mount Marwa. As we were walking, my eyes were always in search, to get a glimpse of the Kaaba. Those glances of the Kaaba were like nourishment to the soul, filling you with true, sincere, divine love, a love that can not be taken away from you.

While you’re walking between Safa and Marwa, you join the crowd again, and you hear their supplication from all corners, praising Allah in beautiful words. For every step you take, you feel as if the burden of sins that you’ve been carrying throughout your life is being lifted from your back leaving you lighter and lighter
You’re tired and warm. Along the way, they have kept the doors open and as you pass them, as tired and as warm as you are, when the wave of cool air hits you, you feel that the angels are using their wings, blessing you with Allah’s mercy.



I remember when I was there, I kept looking around, worried that my mother or my uncle might get lost or tired. And it reminded me of Sayyida Hagar; I could see her in the distance, worried, constantly searching, moving and struggling, running from one side to the other, in search for water; and those words came to my mind:

أَمَّنْ يُجِيبُ المُضْطَرَّ إِذَا دَعَاهُ وَيَكْشِفُ السُّوءَ

Or who answers the distressed one when he calls upon Him and removes the evil? (27:62)

I remember my mother used to say these words during the war. She would repeat them over and over, no matter how hopeless the situation seemed to be, no matter how close to death we were, we would always be saved. Whenever I hear this ayah, I shiver. There is no dark alley that the Lord can’t save you from and no locked door that he can’t open for you, if only we call out for Him. And just like the Imam sais in Dua Kumail :

Who readily pleased, forgive one who owns nothing but supplication for Thou doest what Thou willest o' Thou! Whose Name is the remedy (for all ills) and Whose remembrance is a sure cure for all ailments and obedience to Whom makes one self sufficient; have mercy on one whose only asset is hope and whose only armour is lamentation

O' Thou! Who perfecteth all bounties and Who wardeth off all misfortunes! O' Light! Who illuminateth those who are in bewilderment! O' Omniscient! Who knoweth without (acquisition of) learning!

There’s truly no one to rely on but Allah. When you remember how Sayyida Hagar never gave up hope, Sayyida Hagar, the wife of Prophet Ibrahim (a.s) who has been abandoned in the burning desert, relied on God alone and has set her hope in Him. A woman - alone, thirsty, desperate but still with strong faith and trust in Allah. She kept praying and running from one side to the other until Allah answered her prayers.

Sayyida Hagar’s act, which is the true devotion to God, made me think of how weak our faith is, not just in the spiritual form but in physical form. In crises we question God's decision and in happy moments we forget to thank Him and instead thank people around us who, in the end, are Allah's servants. We want things to fall down upon us in silver platters, while we say its all in Allah’s hands, not understanding that it's when the servant works hard, it's when he struggles to please Allah, that his prayers are answered and Allah showers him with blessings.

It’s when you stand here in this holy land, that you see how insignificant you are. Like a grain in the sand, you vanish into the crowd, following the wave. But at the same time, you feel great, because God is there. Only God can see your heart and hear your words. You don’t want to talk to anyone around you. You just want to talk to God. You don’t need anyone else.

[50:16] And certainly We created man, and We know what his mind suggests to him, and We are nearer to him than his life-vein.

ps. Pictures that I've posted here aren't mine, but found on the net.

Omrat Al Tamato3

It has been narrated from al-Baqir [Imam Muhammad Ibn ‘Ali] (peace be upon him) that: “As long as a person is looking at the Ka’bah, good deeds will be written (in his record) and one’s evil deeds will be erased until one turns away one’s glance (from the Ka’bah).”

Year after year I used to watch the hujjaj through the tv screen. With tears in my eyes. Just by looking at it from a distance miles away. It shakes my every being.
Imagine now. That you stand in front of it. Imagine that Allah chose you from all these millions of ppl. To come and visit His house. Imagine that you hear from all corners people calling out to our Lord.

Our group gathers together and we split into smaller groups. You enter with a bit of fear, cause you’ve heard so many stories about how ppl get crushed while doing tawaf. As you step closer to the door of the holy mosque. All fear disappears, all that you hear is your heart beat and the prayers of hujjaj from inside the mosque.
The first look of Mecca. Of the Holy Kaaba. Will always stay with you. To this very day. Now almost a year ago. Every time I close my eyes, I can see it in front of me. I can still feel the light air hitting my face. I can still hear ppl from all corners of the world, Reading the holy Quran. I still can feel the soothing feeling of walking on the marble floor.

The first time you look at the Kaaba, its like being embraced by your mother that you haven’t seen in a while. A piece of heaven, noor upon noor. A sight that leaves you speechless. You just stand there all you can say is Allahu akbar, because in that moment, every inch of you feels the greatness of Allah.
Every inch of you can feel his Mercy. Your heart gets filled with love. You feel Allah’s greatness. You feel so close to Allah, As if He is holding you in his embrace. You get so overwhelmed that you forget to speak, you forget everything. You just let your tears fall down. When you first have looked at the kaaba you can never take your eyes of it. You forget who you are, what’s your name, where you came from. You forget your family and friends. All that you are is a servant. And in Mecca is where you want to stay forever.

When you enter the crowd of ppl that are doing tawaf in the first moment you feel afraid. Cause youre getting pushed from all sides. Our group which I cherish dearly, gathered us women in the middle. And made the men be in a circle around us. To protect us. In the front the head of the group starts reciting the recommended duas of each tawaf. And we say it after him. One of the difficult things that you might face in your first time doing tawaf is to remember not to turn your shoulders to the Kaaba or against the Kaaba. Your body is shaking cause its so close to this piece of heaven. Even though people are pushing you from all corners. You feel safe. Allah is here to protect you.

Of all the things I have done and achieved in my life. These simple tawafs was the happiest and most peaceful moments, and just remembering it, I return back to that peaceful state of mind.. No money, no wealth, no education or worldly achievements could give you that feeling. Here souls that didn’t want anything but to please its Master, has marked its footsteps. He has blessed me and opened His door. To visit his house. This is the ground that Prophets and Imams before me has walked on. While doing the tawaf you see the holy door that the Prophet (pbuh) and Imam Ali (as) entered to destroy the statues. You see the crack which from Fatima Bint Asad entered and gave birth to imam Ali (as) ,which they try to hide. But Allah’s miracles cant be hidden. Maqam Ibrahim, where the prophets footprints got stamped while building the Kaaba.This is what true happiness is. People used to walk for miles and years to see this noor upon noor, this blessed peace of heaven on earth.

After finishing the 7 tawafs and praying the two obligatory rakats for the tawafs. We went to drink from water Zam-zam. When I was little whenever I got sick my mother used to give me some of it to drink.
But the feeling when you drink it at this holy place. It cleanses your soul and heart from all evil. It leaves you filled with nothing but Allahs love and mercy.

Labyk Allahoma Labayk

It has been narrated from Abi ‘Abdillah [Imam Ja’far Ibn Muhammad as-Sadiq] (peace be upon him) that he said, “Those who perform the Hajj and the ‘Umrah are the guests of Allah. If they ask Him for something, He will grant it to them; if they call upon Him then He will answer them; if they intercede (for others), their intercession will be accepted; if they remain quiet, then He will begin to speak to them; for every dirham which they spend (in their trip to the Hajj), they will receive one million dirhams in return.”

No matter how long you sit and talk to your Prophet (pbuh). No matter how long you sit and pray in his mosque. When the time comes and you have to say your farewell. Your heart doesn’t want to leave. How can you leave your beloved Prophet (pbuh), how can you leave Hamza (as). Fatima (as) Or Khadija (as). How can you leave your imams (as) behind? And while you sit and read dua al wadaa (farewell supplication) Your heart cant help but whine and make your eyes filled with tears. Cause how can you leave your home when you just found it. How can you wake up in a new place and not see the green dome.


But now I was going to a place, that I’ve been waiting to go even before I was born. A place, that just by watching it on tv, would tremble me. A piece of heaven, situated on earth. A place where I would be a visitor by my creator. Where all his divinity and glory is shown. Where the air has a smell that is so special. That it gives you peace miles before you reach it.

We were going to perform 3omrat il tamato3.
Which consist of five steps:
1. wearing Ihram from the miqat.
2. Tawaf il kaaba
3. Salat il tawaf
4. Sa3ee between Safa and marwa.
5. Taqseer.

Wearing Ihram from the miqat:

After saying our farewell to our holy Prophet. We went on our way to masjid al shajarah (the tree mosque). Which is called a miqat. Which was chosen as one of the places for the hujjaj from abroad to perform the wearing of the ihram. We went early in the morning and didn’t reach it long after Maghrib.
There we put on our ihram. Which consisted of simple white clothes. It was quite an amazing sight, to see all those ppl, taking off all those watches and accesoires, brand clothes and suddenly stand there, wearing only simple white clothes. Shining with noor. Where nothing matters, no money, no status, all of us are the sons of Adam. And Adam is from sand. We return to what we originally are, simple human beings, doing 3ibada to their creator. Where it shows you what truly matters in the end. No Mercedes car will save you, no penthouse will give you comfort. All that matters is your faith. All that matters is if you chased the world or passionately held on to your deen. And in this white clothes, he wipes your soul clean. Making it pure. Full of noor. Full of divine peace.




There we entered the mosque after wearing our ihram, and did the requested salat for the wearing of the ihram.
When we finished. We went outside where we started saying the talbyia.
Which consists of these words:

Labayk Allahoma labayk
Labayka la sharika laka labayk
Inna al hamda wel na3mata laka wel mulk
La sharika lak


Labayk Allahoma labayk - when you start saying these first sentence. Your hearts starts to pound faster. Your every being knows that the meeting with your creator will come soon.
Lbayka la sharika laka labayk - You can feel his divinity, filling inside of you. You can sense that He is waiting for you.
Inna al hamda wel na3mata laka wel mulk - You cant help but think of all those billions of ppl on this earth, God didn’t only bless you with knowing the true path, but letting you be a His Guest.
La sharika lak - and you don’t want to please anyone or talk to anyone or find comfort from anyone but Him. You cant wait now to see His house. To be His guest.


You say these words, until you feel the whole universe is saying it with you. Its quite an amazing site, to see all those hujjaj, dressed in white. Doing talbya together. All are here in humbleness to their lord.

Now you are in a position of ihram. Once ihram is worn twenty five things become forbidden:

1.Hunting.
2.Sexual union.
3.Kissing a woman.
4.Touching a woman.
5.Looking at a woman and flirting with her.
6.Masturbating.
7.Reciting nikah.
8.Wearing perfume.
9.Wearing sewn clothes by men.
10.Wearing antimony (surma).
11.Looking in the mirror.
12.Wearing shoes, slippers or socks.
13.Outrage (Fusouq).
14.Quarrelling.
15.Killing insects found on humans, [such as lice].
15.Beautifying oneself.
16.Applying oil.
17.Removing hair from the body.
18.Covering the head, for males, or dipping one's body in water, even for females.
19.Covering of the face by females.
20.Sheltering in the shaded place for males.
21.Bleeding one's body.
22.Cutting nails.
23.Extracting tooth, according to some scholars.
24.Carrying arms.

The hardest thing for me was the mirror and no usage of toothpaste or soap. But after a while you get used to it. You keep saying this talbya all the way from the miqat till you see the houses of old mecca.

This was my first time to do hajj, as you have read before about my story. It came without preparation.
So I didn’t know exactly what was the tasks of hajj and what we are suppose to do and where.
It may sound difficult when you read about it, but once you are there, everything will come automatically and easy.

The Teacher

Everyday we would spend our day sitting in front of the dome of the prophet. Reading duas and zyarat., even though the wahabis would be so annoyed and keep bothering you. But you learn to ignore them in the end, and just let your heart wander near the Prophet (saw) and his daughter (as).

Many ppl got to enter inside the mosque and come close to the prophets shrine. (as close as one can get that is), we didn’t enter cause of fear that my mother will get hurt. She sick and her bones are not strong to bear a fall.
But our hearts were longing to visit the Prophet (saw). The last day, after saying our farewell to Al baqi3, me and my mum headed to pray inside the mosque. Where suddenly we see a crowd gathering not so far away, we found out that they are letting people enter to see the shrine.
My mother and I couldn’t believe it. Our hearts were pounding and almost in tears.
As I look around me in the crowd, it seemed as a race. Not caring if you will cause someone to fall and get hurt. As they started to let the people get in, they went all crazy. Pushing all that came their way.
I was worried about my mother, holding around her. Already in tears, that even when you visit the one that are closer to you than your father and mother, the teacher, the messenger. And all we care is how we can reach it first, without caring for our fellow muslims. Forgetting the true message of the Prophet (saw) and how he showed love and compassion for others. I felt ashamed and humbled.

My mother and I walked slowly, telling my mother, if we don’t get to visit the shrine, what matters is our intentions. God knows what’s in our heart. My mother were already in tears, I leave my mother praying while I go and get a chair for her. When I get back, I see my mothers face lighting up telling me that a one of the Saudi women told her there is a diff way for those who have disabilities. Suddenly this Saudi woman approaches us, and takes us to that place. We stand in a long que. With at least 100 people in front of us. We didn’t know where this que would take us. We just took advantage of the time, reading the zyarat and the duas. As you come closer, an overwhelming feeling takes over you. You can do much, you cant talk, you cant think. All you do is pray. You feel such a blessing, of all the people on this world, you got the chance to stand here and be just a couple of metres away from his shrine. You feel so little and Gods blessing on you so big. As we reach the place, you see the women that raced in front of us, fighting to get to pray their two rakats. Its amazing, cause me and my mother got to pray as much as we wanted without any of those Saudi women telling us to finish.
When we finished, we were overwhelmed, not yet understood what happened. Cause it seemed like a dream. We were sure we wouldn’t get the chance to visit. SubhanAllah when its written for you to visit the Prophet (saw) it will happen no matter what. Truly the reward of patience is great.
You feel so humble when you go through something like this, you have not offered or given something that disserves all this blessings, but God keeps showering you with blessings. Many of which we ignore.
Many which we take for granted.

Ya Ali, Ya Fatima ....

We got on the bus and went on our way to "Masjid ul Qiblatain" which means "The Mosque with the Two Qiblahs". This mosque is very important in the history of Islam.

When Allah first ordered the Holy Prophet (S.A.W.) and all Muslims to offer the daily Salat, they were required to pray facing Baytul Muqaddas (Jerusalem). This was the practice in Mecca and continued in Madina until the seventeenth month after Hijrat.

In Madina, the Jews also said their prayers facing Baytul Muqaddas. They did not like the fact that the Muslims had the same Qiblah as they did, and tried to use this fact to discredit Islam and the Holy Prophet (S.A.W.). They said to the Muslims, "Muhammad claims to have a religion whose laws supersede all other previous laws, yet he does not have an independent Qiblah, and offers his prayers facing the Qiblah of the Jews."

After the Holy Prophet (S.A.W.) received this news he used to come out at night and look into the sky awaiting the revelation from Allah about this matter. The following verse was revealed at this time:

"Many a time We have seen you turn your face towards heaven. We will make you turn towards a Qiblah that will please you..." Surah al-Baqarah, 2:144

The fact that the Qiblah was the same as that of the Jews was also because it was a test of the faith of the people. The true faith of the followers would be tested by seeing if any of them refused or delayed to turn towards the new Qiblah as chosen by Allah. This is confirmed in the Holy Qur'an in the following verse:

"We decreed your former Qiblah only so that We may know the Prophet's true followers and those who were to deny him. It was indeed a hard test, but not for those whom Allah guided..." Surah al-Baqarah, 2:143

One day, while the Holy Prophet (S.A.W.) and the Muslims were praying together, the command came from Allah to change the Qiblah from Baytul Muqaddas to the Holy Kaa'ba in Mecca. After the Holy Prophet (S.A.W.) had already completed two raka'ats of the noon prayer, the Angel Jibraeel (A.S.) communicated to him the command of Allah.

He held the hand of the Holy Prophet (S.A.W.) and turned him towards the Holy Kaa'ba in Masjidul Haraam in Mecca. The Holy Prophet (S.A.W.) at once changed his direction in the middle of Salat. Imam Ali (A.S.) followed this change immediately. The other Muslims were confused by this action and only a few followed the example of Imam Ali (A.S.).

After praying there, we went towards the 7 mosques.
Masjid al-Fath is one of the very famous Seven Mosques. The Seven Mosques are located at the site of the Khandak Battle. During that war, the founders of Islam were outnumbered and surrounded by the pagan warriors. Masjid al-Fath was built on top of the rock over which the Prophet(S.A.W) prayed and asked God to grant victory to the encircled Muslims. Salman al-Farisi (Salman the Persian) (A.S) who was one of the closest companions of the Holy Prophet(S.A.W), introduced the idea of digging a trench around the camp of the Muslims to repel the pagans. Hence, one of the Seven Mosques is named after Salman.
The trench served its purpose very well and kept the pagans at bay. Eventually, the most powerful of the Kafir warriors, Aamro bin Wud al-Aamery managed to cross the trench and was about to turn the course of the historic battle to the advantage of the pagans. But All-the-Faith, Ali bin Abi Taleb (A.S), confronted All-the-Kufr, Aamro, and defeated and killed him. Praise be to God in all matters, with this defeat, the pagans were all defeated and Islam was preserved.



That the Seven Mosques of Medina are very small is not just a coincidence dictated by the military conditions of the Battle of the Trench. These holy places, like every thing else that one encounters during the Hajj or the Umrah are full of symbolism and hidden messages. Only with contemplation that one can see the story behind the story and the wisdom resonating beyond the three dimensional.

The Seven Mosques are being demolished by the Wahhabi authorities and replaced with a single large Mosque. Do you now know why the Seven Mosques are being destroyed? Let's all cry and mourn, for the pluralism, openness, and selflessness of Prophet (S.A.W) is being replaced with the unilateralism, opacity, and selfishness of of the takfiris.
It will break your heart to go visit this mosques. They are day by day destroying those holy mosques. Masjid Fatima(A.S) is now closed.


And masjid Ali is hidden away. It tears your heart in pieces.


This is how masjid Ali (A.S) looked like:

As we couldnt pray inside the mosques, we still showed our respect and grief, by praying near their mosques outside in the pavement.

Look how powerful Ahlulbait (A.S) are, that even after all this time, the enemies still fear them.
Your footprints will always be in history, They will never be able to make us forget. Cause we bare you in our hearts and souls.

Let not the message of Muhammad(S.A.W), be murdered. By the enemies of Ahlulbait.
And, God willing, should you visit the site of the Seven Mosques, please do pray two salutation ruk'aas for every martyred mosque.
Know that the wahabis fear you, cause you have ahlulbait by your side.

Ishtaqna Laky Ya Tayba

During my stay in Medina. We visited the holy places there.

Our first stop was masjid Qiba.

which was the first mosque to be built. when you enter that mosque its like going back in time. to the time of the Prophet. You feel his presence. you can see how the muslims used to work together to built this house of God. You can see Bilal stand on the top calling for prayer. You can see the first muslims praying their first salat together.



The reward for praying two ruk2ats at Mosque Qiba, is equivalent to that of one Umrah. Also, those who get to recite Surat al-Hajj in Mosque Qiba are, God willing, guaranteed a return to the Hajj anew!
We didnt have much time so we did only the two ruk2ats. But I hope and I pray, That God will grant me another visit to His house.




After finishing our salat there, we went to visit Hamza.
My beloved Hamza. Ever since I was a little kid. and saw "the Message" I have had this strong relationship with him. As if he was my older brother. And I had missed him so much. that when i heard the leader of the group saying we were on our way to visit Hamza. I was already in tears. when we reached the place. My heart was aching.



My beloved Hamza, The one that just by hearing his name would make his enemies shake with fear. A man so strong, so humble in front of God and his Prophet. Martyred on this piece of land. with nothing but a stone on his grave. Oh Hamza what have they done to you. They had put huge speakers there. with sayings such as. dont pray for the diceased. They had put huge signs of this is haram and that is haram.
and two guards in front of his holy grave. making sure we wont be able to come near the walls.


They would laugh at us when they saw us reading zyarat and making remarks such as kafir and bid3a. We were so in dispear so broken hearted that we couldnt find any strength only by doing salawat.
Oh Hamza look what they are doing to the followers of beloved Prophet. I was calling for hamza inside my heart. I was reading his zyarat with tears running down my face.
Close as my father and mother you are my beloved Hamza. I didnt want to leave his grave. How can I leave you Hamza, when i just found. I still havent cried enough tears for you. I still havent told you all what i wanted to say. I still havent got enough of your presence. May Allah grant me the blessing of visiting you again. May Allah grant me the blessing of being close to you in this life and the here after.

The place where Hamza was martyred and buried is the place where the battle of uhud
was being held. to see how such a holy land where the most honorable muslims were killed being so disrespected is heartbreaking. on the jabal il rimal they would have sellers filling the whole jabal, to sell to visitors. as if this place is more of an attraction than a holy place.
and the place where the Prophet's (pbuh) tent was set up, is now nothing but a parking lot place.
but still to this very day, the place of the tent can still be seen. No matter how much they try to hide the miracles of God and his belivers they wont be able too.

Ya Tayba

When we were going to travel from Iran to Medina. We found out that, in Tehran they had made a special hujjaj airport.

It was filled with hujjaj and their families. Mashallah. Now finally after lots of stress with the passports and tickets. 12:00 am we were sitting on the plane on our way to Medina, al tayba. On the airplane, people were reading dua together, doing salawat and reading the quran
it was very nice and special. Never experienced anything like that before.

We reached Madina airport I think around 4 oclock in the morning. It took us more than an hour to get pass security and passport check.
And I dont know why but they checked my laptop several times. After going on a hunt looking for our luggage we finally were sitting on the bus on our way to Medina. It was so strange to see how Medina looked like, cause its actually full of rocky mountains. The first mosque I got to see was Masjid Bilal. Its design was so special. (I dont know maybe becuase I hadnt slept in two days, but all seemed like I was Alice in wonderland. all seemed so strange).

After getting some sleep at the hotel, we went to do our visit to Masjid il nabawi.
The first site you get of it, it takes your breath away.

You see the doors for the entrance to the mosque open for you, and you see this beautiful minar infront of you. You just feel so happy, of all ppl, you have the honor to visit The Prophet (pbuh) and you ask God, and the angels and the prophets the permission to enter this holy mosque. Where on this place the Prophet himself walked and prayed upon. You just feel so humble and small when you walk around this enormous, beautiful mosque that is filled with glory.

I couldnt take my eyes of the mosque when I was walking. You see if you want to go to the Prophet's green dome. you have to go all around masjid il nabawi. Its in the back of the entrance we enter from.
But your overwhelming feeling of humbleness and happiness gets spoiled when you get ready to do your Ziyarat il Nabi (pbuh) and Fatima(as). Cause the guards wont let you do that. They will keep on saying to you, you cant sit here, or prepare for salat. Anything to make you stop from doing your ziyarat.

You just keep thinking, after all this decades, they still wont let the followers of ahlulbayt be free.It got worse when the whole hajj group gathered after sunset to go do Ziyarat for the Prophet and al Baqi3. But it was impossible, they were driving these Land rover cars, and they even threatened us with calling the police. And since we were on hajj we couldnt say much or get angry.
But you dont get angry, you just feel sad. That till today we are not allowed to show our love and respect for ahlul bait. it just rips your heart out. And you cant do anything but to cry. Cause in this moment, you get to feel just a small hint of how they must have felt. How Zainab must've felt not allowed to bury her family.
So you look again towards his dome and you tell him "look what they are doing to your ancestors".

I remember when I heard the dhohr prayer when I was in masjid il nabawi.It gave me goosebumps. When he says "Allahu Akbar", at that moment you really feel how great God is. The adhan just fills your body and mind. You just close your eyes and feel how powerfull God is. And when he says "La illaha illa Allah" you can feel his divine, his love, his power. If there is one thing on this earth that I find total peace in, that would be when I hear the adhan. It reminds you of what really matter in this world. And that it is a call for your heart to approach God and talk with Him.
You cant help but saying hamdilla wel shukr all the time, cause I am so lucky to witness all this, lucky to be muslim.















We went to visit il baqi3, and what they had done is that there were a special entry for men and special entry for women. So me and my mother went to the womens entry, but they wouldnt let us in. They said come tomorrow after salat il fajr. And so we did that but still they wouldnt let us. So they said come after salat il dhohr. And we did, but they wouldnt let us in. And this continued all through the time we were there. Never got to visit il baqi3.
But at least I got to see it from a distance.
What annoyed me most, is that the same place as the baqi3. They had made these small
stores. Which I found so insulting. Not only do they put only stones to their grave, but they insult them in such a way that
they put stores in the same place!!!

Hajj Memories

I travelled to Hajj this year. And it has changed my life 180 degrees. Il hamdilla to the best.
You have no idea how much I miss it. Its an experience like no other experience.


Our Hajj group travelled through Syria, but we wanted to visit Imam Redha (as) in Iran so we travelled with another group to iran.

Qom, "Masoma's(as) home and the city of knowledge"

When you go there, the city is very poor, but Masoma's shrine lights up the whole city.
Not to mention the many bookstores you can find in Qom, that shows you this city is very rich with knowledge.
But the strange thing is when you enter the shrine, you get this strange feeling, such sadness.
You can feel some of her sadness she must've felt when she came to this town after her brother.
One time when we went there, a mawkib from Najaf had just entered the holy shrine.
and it was so amazing to the those hundreds of ppl, coming all the way from Najaf, only to show their respect and love to ahlul bayt.


I have never been in iran before and didnt kno
w anything about it. So I walked around wearing my abaya. and wondering why everybody was staring. And suddenly a sheikh comes up to me and my mother. saying to us that we should respect this holy place and wear chador. so we suddenly got it, even though our clothes were VERY islamically, but for them Chador is what suits best. So we ran to the nearest place and bought chadors. And that would be my first introduction to chador. Man I dont know how iranian women wear that thing, It fell from me all the time, it made me so angry! no matter how did it, it fell down. arghh!!

I didnt go out much in Qom, only to visit Masoma (as). Cause all I was doing is counting the hours and minutes i would reach Medina.

Speechless of grief

the tragic news about what has happened in iraq. didnt reach me before yesterday night, since i never watch tv or read the news.
But from the moment i heard the news till now, i feel numb. Dont know exactly what to say or do. Its just so sad. As if I have lost a part of me. I was at the husainia today. And while the scholar were talking, i couldnt help it but feel sadder and sadder for everyword he said. These holy shrines were destroyed and the world is quiet.

Oh Mehdi when will you come, we are in need of you.

Grief Fills The Dawn of Yesterday

Yesterday, was the tenth day of 3ashor. The day when all the angels weep.
I woke up in a weird feeling, as if not alive, I hear the tv downstairs, my uncle is listening to the maqtal. Can't feel nothing but grief. On this day, we lost the purest souls after the Pophet (pbuh) for the sake of Islam.

I have been feeling as a stranger most of my life, since I have lived in a country that is not my home, and a country that doesnt want me to feel as it is my home.
But how must Hussain (as) felt when he was left standing all alone, with all his followers martyred, and the women screaming in the tents. How must he have felt?
when those who proclaim to raise the flag of Islam kills his little infant.

Thats what almost keeps me thinking when I have problems, or feel dissapointed in ppl.
Hussain (as) knew that you should always gaze up to the heaven, to God.
If you lower your eyes to humankind, you will only be hurt.
If you want to do something, do it for Allah's sake.
May Allah grant me the blessings of knowing you and coming closer to you and ahlulbait.

After the maqtal we went to Hyde par to join the 3ashora march.
MashAllah there were so many people there, and so many young ppl,
I thought about my old country, the only ones who used to go to husainia was me and my bestfriend. You could count the youths with your fingers.
I was really amazed to see so many youths so close to their faith.
Almost all of the shias in london were walking with us that day.
But it was soo freezingly cold, I was wearing glves but still my hands felt like ice, and I the end I was so cold that I felt like someone was piercing my hands with a knife!

When we approached the irani husainia, me and my mother couldnt find my uncle.
I looked through the whole march. but couldnt find him. Got so worried! Since he is only visiting London, doesnt know where we're staying orour phone number.
So I had to stand in the cold outside of the husainia, in more than two hours just to check if he comes. And imagine, seeing me near there, with feet and hands as cold as ice, jumping up and down trying to keep the warmth in my body. and dont forget my nose as red as a tomato!
At the end I managed to be brave and ask one of the brothers to call for him. after a long whle of calling inside the husainia "Sayed ----" "Sayed ----" they finally found him, sitting inside eating dinner while little me were freezing to death outside. OH the HUMANITY!!

And after been pushed and squeezed by all the females in the husainia, we finally decided to head towards home.

But even though i came home, I was still freezing, and still shivering. Till this moment.
If I tell ppl that I used to live in a country that used to have -15 in th winters they wouldnt belive me!!